KESSELRING, Joseph
    
      
    
      
    Arsenic and Old Lace
  
    
      
    BREWSTER RESIDENCE - SITTING ROOM - INTERIOR DAY
  
    
      
    In the forefront of the room, Teddy Brewster is playing Mozart's Turkish March on the harpsichord. He looks a bit like late President Theodore Roosevelt. And he is dressed like the President was dressed on the official pictures we've got of him... And, like the President, he is wearing a pince-nez.
  
In another corner of the room, Abby Brewster is having tea with Reverend Harper, Elaine's father. She looks like an old English lady, a bit like Agatha Christie's Miss Marple.
    
      
           ABBY
  
Reverend Harper, I do hope you don't disapprove of Mortimer just because he's a dramatic critic and takes your daughter to the theater every night.
    
      
           REVEREND HARPER
  
It's not so much that I disapprove of his being a critic, but no man, no man with this published attitude on marriage...
    
      
    Close-up on the book Reverend Harper just took on the table :
  
«Marriage, a Fraud and a Failure, by Mortimer Brewster».
    
      
           REVEREND HARPER
  
...should take any man's daughter anyplace...
    
      
    He sneezes.
  
    
      
           REVEREND HARPER
  
...at any time.
    
      
    He sneezes again, louder this time. Teddy stops playing and there
  
is a puzzled look in his eyes.
    
      
           TEDDY
  
I must be catching cold.
    
      
           ABBY
  
(to Teddy)
No, dear. It was Reverend Harper who sneezed.
(to Reverend Harper)
Bless you.
    
      
    Teddy puts back in his pocket the handkerchief he had taken out
  
and starts playing again.
    
      
           ABBY
  
We mustn't be angry with Mortimer. He's so very much in love with her. And Sister Martha and I are so happy about it. He used to come to see us only occasionally, and now,now he's in Brooklyn six nights a week.
    
      
    BREWSTER RESIDENCE - EXTERIOR DAY
  
    
      
    The two cops, Brophy and O'Hara, are mounting the steps to the
  
Brewster sisters house.
    
      
           BROPHY
  
Remember now, watch your language.
    
      
           O'HARA
  
Besides, you know I'm not a swearing man.
    
      
           BROPHY
  
You'd be surprised what they'd consider swearing.
    
      
    He rings the doorbell.
  
    
      
    BREWSTER RESIDENCE - SITTING ROOM - INTERIOR DAY
  
    
      
    At the sound of the doorbell, Teddy stops playing.
  
    
      
           ABBY
  
Oh, will you excuse me ?
    
      
    She gets up from her armchair.
  
    
      
           
    ABBY
  
No, no, Teddy, dear. Thank you. I'll go.
    
      
    She goes to the door and opens it.
  
    
      
           ABBY
  
Oh, come right in, Mr. Brophy.
    
      
    The two cops get in.
  
    …..