WAITS, Tom


Waltzing Mathilda

wasted and wounded
and it ain't what the moon did
i got what i paid for now
see you tomorrow
hey frank can i borrow
a couple of bucks from you
to go waltzing matilda waltzing matilda
you'll go waltzing matilda with me

i'm an innocent victim
of a blinded alley
and i'm tired of all these soldiers here
no-one speaks english
and everything's broken
and my Stacys are soakin' wet
to go waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda
you'll go a waltzing matilda with me

now the dogs are barking
and the taxi cabs parking
a lot they can do for me
i begged you to stab me
you tore my shirt open
and i'm down on my knees tonight

old bushmills i staggered
you buried the dagger
your silhouette window light
to go waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda
you'll go a waltzing matilda with me

and i've lost my st. christopher
now that i kissed her
and the one-arm bandit knows
and the maverick chinaman
and the cold-blooded signs
and the girls down by the striptease shows go
waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda
you'll go a waltzing matilda with me

no i don't want your sympathy
fugitives say
that the streets aren't for dreaming now
manslaughter dragnets
and the ghosts that sell memories
want a piece of the action anyhow
go waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda
you'll go waltzing matilda with me

and you can ask any sailor
and the keys from the jailor
and the old men in wheelchairs know
that matilda's the defendant
she killed about a hundred
and she follows wherever you may go
waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda
you'll go waltzing matilda with me

and it's a battered old suitcase
to a hotel someplace
and a wound that will never heal
no prima donnas the perfume is on
an old shirt that is stained with blood and whiskey
and goodnight to the street-sweepers,
the night watchmen flame-keepers
and goodnight matilda too.

A thousand big Bangs

…..
She drove a big ol’ Lincoln with suicide doors and a sewing machine in the back,

And a light bulb that looked like an alligator egg was mounted up front on the hood,

And she had a tattoo gun that she’d made herself from a cassette motor and a guitar string,

And she always had leaves in her hair,

And she cut two holes in the back of her dress, cause she had these scapular wings,

And they were covered with feathers and electrical tape, and when she got good and drunk she would sing,

About Elkhart, Indiana, where the wind is tall and folks mind their own business,

And she had a hundred old baseballs that she’d taken from kids, and she collected bones of all kinds,

And she lived in a trailer under the bridge, and she made her own whiskey and gave cigarettes to kids,

And she’d been struck by lightning seven or eight times, and she hated the mention of rain,

And she made up her own language and she wore rubber boots. She could fix anything with string,

And her lips were like cherries, and she was stronger than any man, and she smelled like nutmeg and piss,

And she put mud on a bee sting I got at the crick, and she gave me my very first kiss.

…..


Swordfishtrombones

Well he came home from the war with a party in his head

and modified Brougham DeVille

and a pair of legs that opened up like butterfly wings

and a mad dog that wouldn't sit still.

He went and took up with a Salvation Army Band girl

who played dirty water on a swordfishtrombone.

He went to sleep at the bottom of Tenkiller lake

and he said "gee, but it's great to be home."

Well he came home from the war with a party in his head

and an idea for a fireworks display

and he knew that he'd be ready with a stainless steel machete

and a half a pint of Ballentine's each day

and he holed up in room above a hardware store

cryin' nothing there but Hollywood tears

and he put a spell on some poor little Crutchfield girl

and stayed like that for 27 years.

Well he packed up all his expectations; he lit out for California

with a flyswatter banjo on his knee

with a lucky tiger in his angel hair and benzedrine for getting there

they found him in a eucalyptus tree.

Lieutenant got him a canary bird that shaked her head with every word

and Chesterfielded moonbeams in a song

and he got 20 years for lovin' her from some Oklahoma governor

said everything this Doughboy does is wrong.

Now some say he's doing the obituary mambo

and some say he's hanging on the wall

perhaps this yarn's the only thing that holds this man together

some say he was never here at all.

Some say they saw him down in Birmingham,

sleeping in a boxcar going by,

and if you think that you can tell a bigger tale

I swear to God you'd have to tell a lie...

…..


Alice

It's dreamy weather we're on

You waved your crooked wand

Along an icy pond with a frozen moon

A murder of silhouette crows I saw

And the tears on my face

And the skates on the pond

They spell Alice

I disappear in your name

But you must wait for me

Somewhere across the sea

There's a wreck of a ship

Your hair is like meadow grass on the tide

And the raindrops on my window

And the ice in my drink

Baby all I can think of is Alice

…..